everything & nothing

Art laid alone with silence. They watched the unchanging window of their millionth story New York apartment. They closed their eyes, though it was just as dark either way. The curtains were drawn after all.

Fate was on her way up… It took a long time for the elevator to climb all the way to the millionth floor. There was a gentle ding as the doors opened. Fate meandered out into the mile-long hallway. It took her twenty minutes to reach Art’s room. She didn’t rush.

The front door yawned open with a flood of light. “Mornin’” Fate greeted.

“hey…” Art tried to be quiet but ended up even quieter than they expected.

Fate didn’t hear them. She stepped slowly over to the couch and peered down at them. Art gave her the littlest smile.

“Mornin’” She said again in a low tone. “You awake? Do you wanna open the curtains?”

“not really…”

“Did you have breakfast? No, right? Did you sleep on the couch? I was only gone one night.”

“yeah I slept here.”

“Oh, why’s that?” She tried to ask gently.

“dunno… just fell asleep here.”

“I see.”

The sterility of the air intensified the cold entrance of Silence. Silence spent so much time with Art that sometimes they’d look at the unchanging window together and wonder if they’d even notice if the building were collapsing and in free fall. It would take a long time to come down. Fate gazed at her shoes. “I have something to tell you.”

Art liked the sound of that; they were in a mood to feed on emotional pain. “mhm…”

“You know the… um, dishes?”

“yeah.”

“You gotta do them. Or the universe is going to stop existing.”

Art didn’t know how to respond. They were hoping for Fate to tell them something deep dark and brooding but ultimately ignorable. Art supposed everything was ultimately ignorable.

“So… yeah” Fate said.

“how long do I have to do it?”

“I don’t know, but you should probably start now anyways right?”

“mmm…”

“Art. Dammit.” She said, exasperated.

Art winced at her disappointment. That was not the kind of emotional flavor they were searching for. “sorry.”

“Oh you love to say sorry. When are you going to live it. When are you going to live?” Fate dropped herself in the chair opposite them and reclined with her arms crossed.

Silence, who had spent all last night with Art, came in again, with naught to say.

Fate found the courage to try again, and banished silence in an instant, “You know I’m not kidding.”

Art had closed their eyes again by now, and opened them without seeing her.

“I’m not kidding, you know. The whole universe, you, me, cats, dogs, New York, all gone.”

Art failed to find the spirit to believe her.

“One night, I was gone for…”She trailed off.

“i don’t know what to say.” Art felt the slow drag of pain welling up in their chest.

Fate had been swinging back and forth between disappointment and anger to empathy and reproach. She didn’t know what to say either.

Silence found his way back in. He strode between them and across the open floor to the kitchen. It’s really all just one big room, silence mused to himself. The bed is tucked away into the corner, a desk lies unused beside it, and a little bathroom leads off to the side. How perfect, silence thought, for a home like this to be so very much like me.

He stalked over to the sink where silverware and plates lay piled. He spied a mound of laundry too forming behind the couch. Perhaps that’s another thing that will destroy us all, silence wondered. Then, just like that, he was gone.

“Maybe you should open the curtains.” Fate suggested.

“yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe start with that.”

Art knew the trick she was trying to play, but after the long quiet, they kinda sorta maybe felt like playing along anyway. “could do that.”

“I bet you can.”

Art took in a long sigh for the millionth time and rubbed their eyes for the billionth. “could do that.”

Fate stood up, “I wonder what it’s like out there today.”

“probably a lotta sky. like usual.”

“Well?”

Art stretched in place on the couch. They’d been there since yesterday afternoon. They had began to wonder if they even could get up, not they they had wanted to anyway. With much effort, they sat up, and then all at once they were standing again. The blood rushed to their head and made their vision turn white, then black. They felt like their bones weighed a million pounds; like they had lead in their blood.

Fate just watched with the bitterest, sweetest smile as they pulled the chain and the light beamed in again. Art fell back down on the couch again, hugging their knees.

“You’re right. Mostly sky.” She watched them watching the window. She wanted to be proud but in truth she only felt sick with grief inside.

But they were right about the view. Up here it was often that all one ever saw was clouds, pale and blue, like the dot in space their city rested on. Art thought it was like looking at a Monet, if there happened to be a lot of clouds in front of that Monet.

Art asked, “so how much time do I have?”

“Until the universe stops existing and everything?” She sat back down, “Well, why wait to find out!?”

Art pulled a blanket around them and hid half of their face behind it.

“Don’t get cozy now… You were doing so good- you are doing good.”

“I don’t know if I can do it.” Art felt a pit in their stomach as soon as they said it.

“Art. Please. I know you can do it… Frankly I’m a little insulted- you’d really destroy the whole universe over the dishes?”

“yes.”

“Art. Why?”

Art took their million and oneth sigh. “i just need time. i know it will pass. i just need time.”

“…You won’t always be able to wait things out. I’m trying to help you the best I can.”

“i know. i’m thankful for you.”

“I don’t know how to help.” Fate put her face in her hands.

“ride this storm out with me. please.” Art felt bad as soon as they said it. It had sounded so good in their head. They watched Fate run her fingers through her hair. She looked like she was about to cry. They didn’t mean for that. They felt like an abuser. A rush of feeling surged through their body, a warm reproach that for a moment overtook the apathy in their blood.

And they stood up.

And they dragged themselves over to the sink.

And they ran the tap.

And the universe was saved.

Fate really didn’t know how to feel now. As the steam wafted up from the basin, she came alongside Art, scouring off the last trace of universal annihilation. Art noticed her eyes from over their shoulder. They placed the last fork in the drying rack and turned off the water.

“You know,” They said, “I shouldn’t have put you through that, and, I’m sorry.” They turned to face her. “I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t help but smile, just a little, “You’re a real hero Art.”

And Art smiled for the first time again in weeks. “You shouldn’t forgive me so easily.”

“ We’re on the same team Art. Aren’t we?”

From then on silence was more alone than ever. He would spend long days pacing the mile-long hallway until someone’s footsteps would disappear him. Then he would go saunter about the vacant apartments until the painters and electricians would show up and disappear him. Then he would float among the clouds, just eyeing Art’s window, until a plane would go by and disappear him. Only at night when the two were asleep was he welcome back in, not as a shadow, but a friend.